Friday, February 27, 2015

Protocol Breach

A detached hand dripped it's red payload onto the silk Persian rug, the fingers were commanding approachers to stop.

The smugness on the face of the maitre d' of the Washington Cigar lounge had not been disturbed by the sword that disconnected his shrugging shoulders from his aloof brain.

The leather bound guest register had been signed with a large and exquisitely symmetrical turd placed with apparent care in the exact centre.

It was difficult to tell if the limbs and heads that were distributed around the lobby belonged to 8 or 9 random bunches of folks. What was clear was that there had been a lot of money spent on the hair of the three heads of the ladies which lay in a pyramid in front of the oak panelling. Women whether whole or in pieces were a testimony to the progressive strides the club had taken to embrace modernity in the past decade.

Some may say it is a pity the march to modernisation did not included allowing the uncouth man who marched into the club yesterday to enter. Mr Bibi was not wearing a necktie and behaviour such as that cannot be tolerated.  Protocol and yes simple old fashioned good manners are the two pillars which uphold the great American civilisation.

The erosion of tradition and custom is a threat to us all. A foreign non member cannot enter unless he has been invited not by the majority leader but by the president of the club himself. You can see it is written here in the rule book section 12, under the smeared of blood, it is clear and irrefutable.

The boorish Mr Bibi was shouting on top of his lungs that the vicious zealots were right outside and that they were chanting for the death of all of us Americans. Did he not know that we cannot allow shouting in this establishment ? How can we enjoy a hard earned martini with all that racket ?

The attack took us completely by surprise. We followed the press very closely in the days proceeding the holocaust, and there was no mention of any danger. Yes all Americans were killed and there are no survivors, but at least we will be remembered as a civilisation who cherished dignity above all.